TC Candler

The best Films of 2019

1. I Lost My Body (FRA)

I can count on one hand (pun intended) the number of animated films that have made my Top 10’s over the past fifty years.  Generally, for me, they have a ‘quality ceiling’ that doesn’t allow them above a 9/10.  This animated French masterpiece just destroyed my concept of what a ‘cartoon’ can achieve… both artistically and emotionally.  It is a gorgeously bizarre story of a severed hand finding its way back to its owner.  It parallels that oddity with an intelligent touch of young love and wistful flashbacks of childhood memories.  The haunting score adds to the cinematic perfection.

9.9 / 10

2. Parasite (KOR)

Bong Joon-ho is one of the great directors alive today.  His splendid films include “Memories of Murder”, “Mother” & “The Host”.  He adds to that repertoire with the Cannes Film Festival Palme D’Or winner, “Parasite”.  This subversive and cynical ‘tragicomedy’ will end up as one of the best films of 2019.  It is wickedly funny, and acutely vicious — balancing the vastly different tones perfectly.  It is a mesmerizing commentary on the massive financial gulf between the classes.  The entire cast is superb… with special commendation for the great Song Kang-ho — one of the world’s finest actors.

9.8 / 10

3. Better Days (CHN)

Actress, Zhou Dongyu gave the best performance of 2018 in the best film of 2018… “Us and Them”.  She almost repeats that feat in 2019 with “Better Days”.  This is a heartbreaking story of a high-school girl whose parents are non-existent and whose classmates bully her relentlessly.  As she approaches the most important exams of her young life, she meets a street-criminal boy who vows to protect her from the bullies.  The young couple become poignant soul-mates who try to fend off a world that doesn’t want them to be together.

9.7 / 10

4. Joker

Joaquin Phoenix is devastatingly good in this intense and intimate portrait of the notorious villain.  Hand him an automatic Oscar nomination right now!  Todd Phillips directs this emotional gut-punch of cinema with the perfect blend of cynicism, compassion, empathy and disdain.  Of what?  For who?  Well, that is for the individual viewer to decide.  No other film in the absurdly overpopulated “superhero” universe has ever even approached this level of depth and consequence.  “Joker” shows what real cinema can achieve.  I cared about this dark character.  In many instances, I empathized… I agreed… I cheered for him.  This film is complex and spectacular. 

9.6 / 10

5. Seules les bêtes (FRA)

“Seules les bêtes” (a.k.a. Only the Animals) is a perfect example of ‘Hyperlink Cinema’.  Multiple storylines, overlapping threads, a diverse cast of characters… all converging into one terrific film.  I really don’t want to give anything substantial away… but half a dozen or so fascinating people surround the disappearance of one woman in the snowy mountains of France.  I knew within two minutes that I was watching one of the best films of the year… and it only kept improving.  This is 100% guaranteed to entertain, intrigue and thrill.

9.6 / 10

6. The King

Tonight, I sat down, in my comfy chair, to watch a Netflix original film that I had virtually no intention of finishing.  It was a cinematic fishing expedition.  Two and a half incredibly brief hours later, I was in awe of the brilliance I had just seen.  It was the completely absorbing tale of King Henry V and his reign in the early part of the 15th century.  The mastery of this film lies in its utter simplicity and efficiency of direction.  There isn’t a wasted shot or line of dialogue.  It is remarkably patient and thoughtful.  There are half a dozen excellent performances.  The art and photography are both immaculate.  It is a masterclass of film-making.

9.5 / 10

7. A Bluebird in My Heart (FRA / BEL)

This terrific little thriller is one of those small film-festival darlings that will ultimately not get seen by enough people.  Roland Møller stars as an ex-con, freshly released, who gets a job as a dishwasher while staying at a mother-daughter (Veerle Baetens & Lola Le Lann) run hotel.  The two women each have their own issues… and trouble soon finds them all in various ways.  This is a great story that asks the age-old question, “Can you teach an old dog new tricks?”

9.5 / 10

8. Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino’s latest film meanders between a languid, wistful homage to late 1960’s Americana and a bitter, somewhat angry rant about what this country has become — “Once Upon a Time … in Hollywood” is a gorgeous fairy tale plucked right out of the director’s 6-year-old memories.  From the myriad conversations, to the pinpoint accurate reconstruction of Hollywood Blvd., to the historical u-turn in the final act… everything about this film is cinematic gold-dust.  Every actor in the film is superb — with special exquisite notes to Brad Pitt, Margaret Qualley and Julia Butters.  A film lovers’ film.

9.4 / 10

9. The Wedding Guest

Michael Winterbottom is a master of quiet, patient drama.  “The Wedding Guest” is yet another of his films that never steps over the line into melodrama or ridiculous, hard-to-believe action.  There is a logic and poetry to every scene.  As always, he is in command of his central actors and they each give sensational performances.  Dev Patel and Radhika Apte deserve so much credit for resisting the urge to over-punctuate every line.  This film is gripping from start to finish… and most importantly, it is the rare thriller where everything is utterly believable.  Most other directors could learn from that alone.

9.3 / 10

10. Deerskin (FRA)

Jean Dujardin drives to a mountainous region of France to purchase a deerskin jacket for an exorbitant price.   The seller throws in a free camcorder.  With his newfound “killer style”, he purports to be a filmmaker and teams up with a local barmaid / video editor to create a movie.  While filming himself, he then goes on a murderous rampage with a ceiling fan blade, in order to rid the world of all other jackets that aren’t his precious deerskin.  Perhaps that sounds absurd, but once you see him wearing the jacket and the matching hat, boots, pants, and gloves… it will all make perfect sense.

9.2 / 10


(Good Films Released This Year)


Once or twice a year, I find myself completely opposed to the critical consensus.  Despite middling reviews, I thought “Serenity” was a terrifically entertaining film-noir mystery.  It is both suspenseful and original… and cracked off the most unexpected twist I’ve seen in two decades.  Matthew McConnaughey and Anne Hathaway both deliver solid performances.  I had a lot of fun with this one.

9.1 / 10

Knives Out

This is the film that Agatha Christie fans were hoping for with the “Orient Express” remake last year.  The entire cast is excellent.  The plot is original.  The actual mystery is not the mystery we think we are expecting.  The wrap-up is satisfactory.  The motivations are believable.  I enjoyed every minute of this film.  Ana De Armas and Daniel Craig are both superb.  If there is one quibble, it is that the bulk of the characters are introduced to little end.  I could have used more variety in terms of possible suspects.

9.0 / 10

Honeyland (MKD) (DOC)

A lonely Macedonian bee-keeper is the subject of one of the most beautiful and riveting films of the year.  This documentary features breathtaking cinematography and a compelling central figure.  This might be the kind of film you would generally overlook.  Don’t!  It is unquestionably brilliant.

9.0 / 10

Portrait of a Lady on Fire (FRA)

Noémie Merlant and Adèle Haenel are achingly beautiful and emotionally devastating in this gorgeous love story between a painter and her subject.  The film simmers on its way to a rolling boil as these two women fall in love on a remote island off the coast of Brittany.  The inevitable farewell creeps towards them as the portrait is completed.  It is a visual delight with two powerhouse performances. 

9.0 / 10

Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler plays a lowlife jewelry grifter who is running various scams in order to fund his next sports bet.  The film is bursting with energy and chaos, making it one of the more entertaining films of the year.  Unfortunately, the company you have to keep, while watching these creeps, makes it one of the least palatable too.  “Uncut Gems” feels like a great ‘one-time-watch’.  I don’t think I want to revisit this world ever again.  Sandler gives his best performance here.

8.9 / 10

Triple Frontier

Despite a dull, non-sequitur title, morally bankrupt characters, and a dreadful final 5-minutes, “Triple Frontier” manages to be a really exciting action flick with a big name cast.  The direction is sure-handed.  The pace is relentlessly high.  The action is believable and easy to follow.  It is almost an awesome ‘guy flick’.

8.8 / 10


This was a technically amazing film that needed a little more heart in order to achieve greatness.  Everything about “1917” is a cinematic marvel.  It will blow you away — almost literally, in some scenes.  However, the “one-shot” technique feels unnecessary — especially for a film whose plot spans at least 12 hours!?  I think it would have been a masterpiece if it had placed character development over film-mastery.

8.8 / 10

The Informer

Joel Kinnaman plays an FBI informant, blackmailed into returning to prison for a sting operation.  The plot feels like a 1980’s Van Damme flick, but it zips along and always holds plausibility.  This genre pic is exciting and has nice performances by Kinnaman and Ana De Armas.

8.7 / 10

The Mad Whale

Set in a late-1800’s asylum, the female patients are tasked with putting on a production of “Moby Dick” as a means of therapy.  Camilla Belle delivers one of the best performances of the year as Isabel, an unjustly committed inmate cast in the lead role of Ishmael.  James Franco also performs nicely in a very small turn.  This is a hidden gem.

8.7 / 10


Mads Mikkelsen is astonishing as a lone survivor of an arctic plane crash.  He slowly realizes that walking to safety is his only hope.  Think Robert Redford in “All is Lost” meets Liam Neeson in “The Grey”.

8.6 / 10


Ari Aster’s “Hereditary” was creepy, but made a couple of hideously decision that derailed the entire project.  There are no such errors with his follow-up film.  The lead performance by Florence Pugh is great.  The ending is a tad too obscure and abstract… but it gets the job done.

8.4 / 10

Marriage Story

Exquisitely acted by Adam Driver and Scarlett Johansson, this Noah Baumbach film feels painfully authentic and acutely observant.  The lone complaint is the film’s lack of purpose.  Is there a lesson to be learned?  Perhaps there are a myriad tiny lessons?

8.2 / 10


Luc Besson returns to form with a stylish female assassin thriller.  Think “Salt” meets “La Femme Nikita” / “Point of No Return”.  Sasha Luss is superb!  This feels like old-school, cold war espionage.

7.9 / 10

John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum

The first 30-mins are filled with top notch excitement and incredibly cool kills.  The rest, although generally entertaining, starts getting a tad repetitive.  How many times can one guy throw another through glass?

7.9 / 10

The Irishman

For a film with all this firepower, I expected a little more oomph.  The performances are stellar, but the story feels tired.  We have seen every moment in other films over the years.  Scorsese’s direction is uninspired…  perhaps un-cinematic.  Good, but underwhelming.

7.7 / 10

Alita: Battle Angel

This is not the type of film I would usually recommend.  However, “Alita” is really fast paced… and packs enough visual punch to thoroughly entertain.  The CGI is gorgeously rendered… especially Alita herself.

7.5 / 10

House of Hummingbird (KOR)

Led by a knockout performance from Park Ji-hu, this gentle film tells the lonely wistful story of a 14-year-old girl trying to find connections and love from those around her.  The moments are delicate and subtle… but the impact is powerful and devastating.

7.5 / 10

Queen & Slim

A young black couple get stopped by an aggressive cop and tragedy ensues.  The early stages of this “on-the-run” thriller work well, but it soon flattens out.  It just ran out of ideas.  Two solid performances.

7.3 / 10


Ethan Hawke elevates this true-life 1970’s Swedish bank heist flick.  There are some truly absurd twists and turns.  The film’s pace never wanes.  If there is any mild complaint, it’s that the movie limps across the finish line with an abrupt and ho-hum ending.

7.2 / 10

A Rainy Day in New York

Woody Allen films are like Jazz with dialogue.  You hear the familiar refrains.  The classic rhythms instantly connect us to his back catalogue of masterpieces.  Perhaps they are anachronistic to our time… But “Rainy Day” hits all the notes — and they made me smile.

7.1 / 10

The Aftermath

An infidelity in “The Aftermath” of WWII… This film is perhaps a little stoic and its ending a bit abbreviated.  Nevertheless — well acted and solidly made.  Keira is divine throughout, in beautiful period costume.

7.0 / 10

The Gangster, The Cop, The Devil (KOR)

A standard Korean cop thriller with Don Lee (Ma Dong-Seok) being as bad-ass as usual.  What it lacks in originality, it makes up for in style.  As expected, the action scenes pack a wallop!

7.0 / 10

Adopt a Highway

Here is yet another touching and honest performance from Ethan Hawke, which highlights this intimate portrayal of a recently paroled, middle-aged man, trying to get his life back together.

7.0 / 10

La Belle Époque (FRA)

Daniel Auteuil headlines a stellar cast, as a man separating from his wife after decades together. He hires a specialized company to recreate the moment in time when he first met her.  The trip back to 1974 rekindles the memories and the feelings of falling in love.

7.0 / 10

American Factory

The Oscar winning Best Documentary of 2019 is a tale of communist China fighting for unfettered capitalism and American workers fighting for socialism.  Everyone wants socialism for themselves… not others.

7.0 / 10

Brittany Runs a Marathon

A nice movie about an overweight woman who decides to take responsibility for her life, her weight and her happiness… by training for the NYC marathon.  Jillian Bell carries the humor very well.

7.0 / 10

Atlantics (INTL)

This is an eerie, hypnotic tale set in the heart of Senegal.  Beautifully shot, and featuring a towering performance by Mame Bineta Sane as Ada, this movie made its way under my skin.  Definitely worth catching.

7.0 / 10


Written by, directed by and starring Seth Green, this film features two friends heading to Thailand in the midst of one of their marriages coming to an end.  The movie almost captures the mood it is going for… but it all feels a little thin.  I still recommend it… however.

6.9 / 10

Earthquake Bird (JPN)

Alicia Vikander stars as a Swedish woman, living in Tokyo, being questioned by police about the murder of her friend. It is a very understated film about jealousy and guilt.  The plot and tone requires patience.  It is the definition of a slow-boil thriller.  Vikander’s performance holds it all together nicely.

6.8 / 10


The third installment in M. Night Shyamalan’s superhero origins trilogy does just enough to satisfy.  James McAvoy is brilliant as his 27 characters.  Willis and Jackson are phoning it in.

6.6 / 10

Tune in for Love (KOR)

A warm Korean romance with a lovely performance from Kim Go-eun.  Perhaps its only weakness is a tendancy to manipulate the plot to fit the formula.

6.4 / 10

Leaving Neverland

The documentary is routinely made… However, the case made against Michael Jackson becomes even more concrete than it was before.  Both of the accusers go into devastating detail… so particular that it seems impossible to have made-up.  There is only one verdict that’ll be remembered in the history books… Guilty as Hell!

6.2 / 10

The Farewell (CHN)

A pleasant film about a young woman returning to China to say goodbye to her dying grandmother.  It drags a little, but is acted well by the entire cast.  Awkwafina gives a nice central performance.

6.1 / 10

The Platform (SPA)

A vertical prison where the food travels from top to bottom, leaving the scraps for the ones below.  How many levels are there?  A metaphor for capitalism.  Perhaps a tad too gimmicky for its own good.

6.1 / 10

Extreme Job (KOR)

This action-comedy works during the first half, when it is setting up the outlandish premise with laugh-out-loud silliness.  Unfortunately, the second half relies too heavily on the violence and loses most of its charm.  

6.1 / 10


What this film lacks in detail, nuance and great writing… It makes up for in spectacle, excitement and a fast pace.  A meat and potatoes action flick that gets the job done if you are in the mood for battle.

6.1 / 10

On the Balcony (CHN)

A young aimless boy seeks revenge on the man he deems to have killed his father.  While stalking him, he become fixated on the man’s young daughter.  The film often feels as aimless as its central character… and it makes the cardinal sin of under-utilizing the best actress in the world right now — Zhou Dongyu.  

6.1 / 10

Ordinary Love

The skill of the acting is not in question here.  Neeson and Manville are terrific.  Still, this desperately downbeat screenplay is a hard slog.  I was moved and I respect the craft of those involved.  However, I can’t imagine having to watch it again.

6.0 / 10

A Hidden Life (GER)

Recent Terrence Malick movies have been breathtakingly gorgeous, but too ethereal and meditative to fully grasp.  This film tempers that a bit.  I can recommend to Malick fans and those who love cinematography.

6.0 / 10

Official Secrets

This is a perfunctory examination of a whistleblower to the illegal gulf war.  It is an interesting true story — but the film feels like reading a Wikipedia article.  Keira Knightley is typically reliable in the lead.

6.0 / 10

Ad Astra

Terrence Malick in space… This Brad Pitt sci-fi is too obscure with its pontificating and wistful philosophical musings about the nature of life and the meaning of existence.  The main character’s emptiness transfers to the substance of the film — resulting in a story with big ideas, offering no solutions.

6.0 / 10

The Average

(Forgettable Films in the Middle of the Pack)


Jordan Peele’s follow up to “Get Out” falls short of expectations.  The film is very well acted, especially by Lupita Nyong’o.  The visuals are slick and far more artistic than your average horror movie.  However, the symbology of “Us” is either too in-your-face or too obscure — never quite hitting the sweet spot.  Peele is a supreme talent, and I look forward to more.  Unfortunately, this time it feels more style than substance… just missing out on a recommendation.

5.9 / 10

Always Be My Maybe

Despite some forced rom-com plot staples and the total lack of originality, the characters are just charming enough to make it a lukewarm success.

5.8 / 10

Innocent Witness (KOR)

“Innocent Witness” (aka “Jeungin” or “Witness”) is a very well intentioned film that gets sidetracked by its “woke” semantics.  The trial at the center of the film is forsaken in favor of pleasantries.  As a result, the drama fizzles and the really good performances feel airbrushed.  South Korean films aren’t typically this Disney-friendly.

5.8 / 10

Where’d You Go, Bernadette?

I usually love Richard Linklater films, but this one feels a little empty — relying on a hard-working Cate Blanchett to carry a minimally interesting story.

5.7 / 10


A great premise is significantly let down by an abbreviated script and some poor performances.  It all feels very slight indeed.

5.7 / 10

Little Women

Director, Greta Gerwig doesn’t really do enough with the rich material to generate real emotion.  Everything about the film is nice… merely nice.

5.6 / 10

Long Shot

Nothing about this rom-com is even remotely romantic enough or funny enough to overcome the absurdly hard to believe premise.  Distinctly average.

5.4 / 10

A Sun (TAI)

This Taiwanese film, about the strife one family has to endure when a young man heads to jail just as he is about to become a father, never quite comes to a boil.  The performances are all very solid… but the urgency in the script wanes too often.  The film drags in long parts.

5.4 / 10

The Wolf’s Call (FRA)

A “Crimson Tide” clone about a nuclear missile order that needs to be retracted, but can’t be, due to strict submarine protocols.  The main character uses “golden ears” to detect the slightest sounds on sonar.  Absurdly, this skill comes in handy when he is able to decipher a typed password by the sound of the keys.  At that point, the film lost me.

5.3 / 10

The Lighthouse

An interesting failure.  Shot in stark 4:3 black and white, this story, of two lighthouse “wickies” going batshit crazy, is too absurd for its own good.

5.3 / 10

Diego Maradona

The subject is fascinating…  The execution is seemingly directionless.  Maradona was/is walking melodrama.  This documentary is Messi and Dull.

5.3 / 10

Ashfall (KOR)

A Korean disaster movie with a race against time to detonate a nuke underneath a Volcano.  It sounds ludicrous… and it most certainly is.  However, it almost pulls it off with amazing set pieces and tongue-in-cheek humor.  Unfortunately, it bites off a little more than it can chew.

5.3 / 10


Margaret Qualley is the best thing about this quiet Netflix sci-fi.  She gives vibrancy and soul to an otherwise dull, barely-there plot.  Not bad, not good.

5.2 / 10

I Am Mother

Like “IO”, another of the dystopian future, science-fiction entries from Netflix.  Again, a tiny cast explores themes of isolation and flaws of humanity.  Meh.

5.1 / 10

The Beach Bum

McConaughey stars as Moondog in Harmony Korine’s nihilistic film about a multi-millionaire beach bum who smokes and drinks himself to inspiration.

5.0 / 10

Pain and Glory

Pedro Almodovar’s clearly autobiographical film features a nice performance from Antonio Banderas, but feels far too personal to have universal appeal.

5.0 / 10

Toy Story 4

The famous franchise is running out of ideas rather quickly.  This entry in the series simply recycles old story-lines and gags.  I was pretty bored.  Maybe it is time to hang up Woody’s boots.

4.8 / 10


Here is an example of a film that virtually begs its audience to like and sympathize with bad human beings.  I have no problem with the lead girls being strippers.  However, once they start drugging clients and stealing tens of thousands of dollars, they lose any and all empathy that I may have been able to muster.  The film misguidedly tries to create “sisterhood” with a cast of terrible mothers and vigilante thieves who think the world owes them a life of luxury.

4.6 / 10


Chloe Grace Moretz befriends a lonely Isabelle Huppert and slowly begins to regret ever meeting her.  It is a well acted, nutty thriller that feels all too predictable and hard to believe.  As a result, it evokes more laughter than fear.  “Greta” is instantly forgettable cinema.

4.4 / 10

Rambo: Last Blood

Of the four preceeding Rambo films… two have been great “First Blood” (1982) and “Rambo” (2008).  The other two were really poor.  “Last Blood” promises violent revenge killings and delivers in spades.  Unfortunately the script is forced and clunky.  The titular character has been drained of humanity.

4.4 / 10

Angel Has Fallen

Secret Service agent, Mike Banning, is saving the President yet again.  It is formulaic, predictable and preposterous.  “Olympus” was great.  “London” was passable.  “Angel” is sub-par.  They are all infinitely superior to “White House Down”, which, thankfully, never got a sequel.  Hopefully, this is the last entry.

4.3 / 10

Jojo Rabbit

Taika Waititi directs this bizarre hybrid of oddball humor and WWII coming-of-age drama.  The film isn’t quite funny enough to make you laugh, and it certainly isn’t dramatic enough to keep you enthralled.  Both ends of the rope are tripping up the same movie.  It is passable, but forgettable too.

4.2 / 10


(Movies That Just Didn’t Work)


A teen comedy that tries desperately to blend wacky comedy with heartfelt emotion.  The result is a run-of-the-mill misfire.  The jokey scenes are all relatively cliché — each antic forcibly crammed in to fit a meaningless plot.  The emotional scenes have no resonance because the characters have no connection to real teenage life.  There is nothing to hate here…  It just feels like a weak-sauce SNL skit that drags on for way too long.

3.9 / 10

A White, White Day (ISL)

Here is an Icelandic psychological thriller that has all the elements of a tense journey into loss, regret, jealousy and rage… but sacrifices all of those cinematic goldmines in favor of intentionally bizarre artistic choices and awkward discomfort aimed at the audience.  There is one great confrontational scene, set at night in a field… but the rest of the film is too strange to easily connect with.

3.9 / 10

Escape Room

You expect a movie like this to be ridiculous.  It is.  What you hope for are some cheap thrills.  They are a few… but not enough.  Very predictable stuff.

3.8 / 10

Good Boys

The absolute definition of a one-joke comedy.  It peaks at minute three.  Also, it feels too PG13 — when it needed to be a hard R.

3.8 / 10

Cold Pursuit

Combine a run-of-the-mill Liam Neeson ass-kicking flick with a desperately bizarre attempt at dark comedy… and you get this failed concoction.

3.7 / 10

High Flying Bird

Soderbergh’s flick about an NBA agent trying to negotiate his way around a lockout is as graceful as a missed dunk. The script takes itself way too seriously and has delusions of grandeur.  These characters are not as smart as the “Aaron Sorkin imitation dialogue” would have you believe.  What we are left with is a trivial story of millionaires playing simple mind-games with other millionaires.  It is all so boring and smug.

3.6 / 10

Rust Creek

This is your standard ‘college babe, stranded in the woods, being chased by toothless hillbilly Trump supporters’ plot.  However, “Rust Creek” takes the next logical step in that clichéd storyline… and has her fall in love with the Kentucky meth-cook with a heart of gold.  Yes, you read that right.  It all peters out to a wholly unsatisfactory ending.

3.0 / 10

I See You

A film starring Helen Hunt… although she literally doesn’t appear in the final half of the film for some unknown reason.  A plot that feels like it was written by a film student who majored in twists.  Characters whose motivations are driven solely by the need for something to happen, rather than by logic or explainable reasoning.  It is all so random.

2.9 / 10

Zombieland: Double Tap

A poor rehashing of all the same jokes and zombie kills we saw ten years ago… only with a barely-there plot and terrible special effects.  They do sprinkle in a few additional characters to avoid making the same exact film.  Zoey Deutch’s legally blonde bimbo delivers the only legitimately funny moments.

2.9 / 10

Doctor Sleep

The sequel we didn’t need or want to Kubrick’s classic, “The Shining”.  This movie did exactly what it promised… It put me right to sleep.

2.8 / 10


A standard deadly animal scare-flick set amidst a hurricane.  The gators serve up 3 or 4 scares… but the tropes are all too familiar.  It gets very silly.

2.8 / 10

Terminator: Dark Fate

Other than the atrocious Christian Bale one, this is the worst in the Terminator franchise by a country mile.  The plot is absurd.  The performances are all mailed in.  The effects are weak.  Linda Hamilton is too old for this.  Watching this film will make you question your life choices.  This was really poor.

2.5 / 10

The Vanishing

Gerard Butler’s film starts off as a thrilling and mysterious ‘found money’ adventure, but soon devolves into an absurd and gruesome mess.

2.3 / 10

The Worst of the year

(Hate-Filled Pieces of Crap)


I would usually like anything that bashes Fox News… but this feels like a lame ‘made-for-TV’ movie with dreadful caricatures and cheap re-enactments.  The only thing that elevates this is the absurdly expensive cast.  Nothing in this film is authentic or has any artistic value.  This is an embarrassing production.

1.9 / 10

Charlie’s Angels

The girls are gorgeous and the pace is lightning quick.  Unfortunately, Elizabeth Banks directs this film with all the skill and nuance of a 1973 Benny Hill sketch.  Every ludicrous scene is narrated with a stupid, obvious quip.  Every absurd plot point is recapped as if we are too moronic to follow.  Dreadful.

1.9 / 10

Ford vs Ferrari

I really disliked this film from the opening credits.  Everything about the film feels inauthentic and cliché.  The story is clearly embellished.  The performances are uniformly one-note.  The script is so predictable that I could almost mouth along with the actors as they were delivering the lines.  This is the absolute definition of a standard Hollywood sports movie.  It all felt so distinctly average.  Do yourself a favor and avoid this snore-fest.

1.9 / 10

Gemini Man

I haven’t been this bored by a big-budget action film in a long time.  The youthful CGI Will Smith looks really artificial.  The plot is dumb.  Nothing is at stake.

1.8 / 10

Berlin, I Love You

In the “I Love You” series of collective short-films, “Berlin, I Love You” is by far the worst of the bunch.  “Paris, Je t’aime” was an eclectic melange of highs and lows.  “New York, I Love You” was combined brilliance.  However, “Berlin” is a disastrous and depressing mix of emotionally-bereft short-film turds.

1.8 / 10

Murder Mystery

Adam Sandler’s Netflix output is dismal.  He isn’t even trying much anymore.  This is another excuse to get his regular gang a paycheck while on vacation.

1.8 / 10

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Long ago, in a cinematic galaxy far, far away, Star Wars had been considered cheesy, childish crap.  This is the 6th really poor film in the franchise.  Only three good ones in the bunch (and they weren’t that good).  This entry is way too perfunctory.  I literally stopped caring on the familiar first note to John Williams tired score.  If this type of kiddie entertainment still matters to you — YOU are part of the problem.  This is a really dismal movie.

1.3 / 10

The Courier

Rule 63: Whenever the bad guy is wearing an eyepatch… it is the movie itself that is actually bad.  Gary Oldman collects a paycheck.  Olga Kurylenko continues to be used in films that don’t deserve her talents.  This is a waste of time for everyone involved.

1.2 / 10


A straight-to-DVD style plot with atrociously implausible characters and an eye-rolling conclusion that is so cliché, it is hard not to burst out laughing.  Nothing about this film will ever matter to anyone.

1.1 / 10

Richard Jewell

This is an inept, highly incompetent film that fumbles facts intentionally in order to suit its agenda.  The film accuses Kathy Scruggs with zero evidence… while attacking everyone else of doing the same thing to Richard Jewell.  It also tries to make a hero out of a pathetic, power-hungry, moron who didn’t do anything laudable whatsoever.  Clint Eastwood has made a handful of good films over the past 40 years… but he has made dozens of terrible ones too.

0.4 / 10

Yes… There is a Section Lower than the Worst Movies of the Year!
I Present a List of Films That I Absolutely Refuse to Watch… (Because I am a Pretentious Film Snob).

“Avengers: Endgame”
I gave up on people in spandex, fighting for good over evil, when I was in my early teens.

“Hobbs & Shaw”
I lost interest in the Fast / Furious franchise 5 minutes into the first one.

Guy Ritchie is the worst director of all time… No chance!

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